Category: Joke Board
A rather inhibited engineer finally splurged on a luxury cruise to the
Caribbean.
It was the "craziest" thing he had ever done in his life.
Just as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared upon the
huge ship, capsizing it like a child's toy.
Somehow the engineer, desperately hanging on to a life preserver,
managed
to wash ashore on a secluded island.
Outside of beautiful scenery, a spring-fed pool, bananas and coconuts,
there was little else.
He lost all hope and for hours on end and sat under the same palm
tree.
One day, after several months had passed, a gorgeous woman in a small
rowboat appeared.
"I'm from the other side of the island," she said. "Were you on the
cruise
ship, too?"
"Yes, I was," he answered. "But where did you get that rowboat?"
"Well, I whittled the oars from gum tree branches, wove the reinforced
gunnel from palm branches, and made the keel and stern from a
Eucalyptus
tree."
"But, what did you use for tools?" asked the man, amazed.
"There was a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed on the south
side of the island.
I discovered that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln,
it
melted into forgeable ductile iron. Anyhow, that's how I got the
tools.
But, enough of that," she said.
"Where have you been living all this time? I don't see any shelter."
"To be honest, I've just been sleeping on the beach," he said.
"Would you like to come to my place?" the woman asked.
The engineer nodded dumbly.
She expertly rowed them around to her side of the island and tied up
the
boat with a handsome strand of hand-woven hemp topped with a neat back
splice.
They walked up a winding stone walk she had laid and around a palm
tree.
There stood an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
"It's not much, but I call it home", she said.
"Inside, she said, "Sit down please; would you like to have a drink?"
"No, thanks," said the man. "One more coconut juice and I'll throw
up!"
"It won't be coconut juice," the woman replied.
"I have a crude still out back, so we can have authentic Pina
Coladas."
Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted the drink, and they sat
down on her couch to talk.
After they had exchanged stories, the woman asked, "Tell me, have you
always had a beard?"
"No," the man replied, "I was clean-shaven all of my life until I
ended up
on this island."
"Well if you'd like to shave, there's a razor upstairs in the bathroom
cabinet."
The man, no longer questioning anything, went upstairs to the
bathroom and
shaved with an intricate bone-and-shell device honed razor sharp.
Next he showered -- not even attempting to fathom a guess as to how
she
managed to get warm water into the bathroom -- and went back
downstairs.
He couldn't help but admire the masterfully carved banister as he
walked.
"You look great," said the woman. "I think I'll go up and slip into
something more comfortable."
As she did, the man continued to sip his Pina Colada.
After a short time, the woman, smelling faintly of gardenias, returned
wearing a revealing gown fashioned out of pounded palm fronds.
"Tell me," she asked, "We've both been out here for a very long time
with
no companionship.
You know what I mean. Haven't you been lonely, too...
Isn't there something that you really, really miss?
Something that all men and woman need?
Something that would be really nice to have right now...?"
"Yes there is," the man replied, shucking off his shyness.
"There is something I've wanted to do for so long. But on this island
all
alone, it was just... well, it was impossible."
"Well, it's not impossible, anymore," the woman said.
The man, practically panting in excitement, said breathlessly: "You
mean... you actually figured out some way we can CHECK OUR EMAIL?!!?!